by Frank Silleti
This “getting stuck in the details” is a behavior that I did not have when I decided to leave Italy, and honestly, none of the “happy immigrants” I know have had it either. It is, however, a widespread trend in the “about to become” immigrants’ community; it is all over the social networks, and I receive many questions personally that confirm this need to get answers on what are sometimes the most insignificant details!
I know you are scared, I was, too; I know you can’t afford to pick the “wrong” country, I know that the fear of leaving what you are familiar with, together with the fear of the unknown, make you think that you should be madly careful in making sure that you have examined every little aspect of this move.
I can picture you striving to get the greatest amount of information, reading blogs, being an active member of Facebook groups, learning push and pull factors of migration and considering multiple opinions about any topic. I can picture you studying countries from every angle: political, social and economic.
All this is perfectly fine and it means that you are someone that likes to be prepared prior to face a challenge, but please give yourself a break! Be kind to yourself and don’t expect to have all the answers to every little detail. The perfect country that is exactly the way you want? It does not exist right now, but you will perceive it that way soon enough if you let yourself! It has very little to do with the country, and a lot to do with you.
New attractive and repulsive details will appear in every country you examine, so focusing on details will drive you insane, making this initial phase excessively painful!
If you are getting stuck in the details now, please stop and think about the reason you want to immigrate.
The main reason you are immigrating should justify or condemn the compulsive focusing on details when shopping for a country to immigrate to:
1. A reason that justifies this behavior:
Immigrating for a lifestyle change: you are retired, wealthy or able to work from anywhere in the world because of the nature of your job.
If you belong to this category and want to live in a place where your money has good buying power, the weather is good all year round and there is a certain degree of safety, it would be a good idea to educate yourself about details to ensure that the country you pick is the perfect place for you.
This reason is more passive and dependent on circumstances, so it is wise to ask about the price of bread, the taxes, the cost of gas or how often it rains, or crazy questions like how bad drivers are…. If you belong to this category, you have the ethical right to analyze every single aspect of your new potential country!
2. Reasons that condemn this behavior:
Immigrating to save your life: Leaving a country where there is limited freedom and/or when staying alive is your ultimate goal.
Whoever belongs to this category usually does not have the luxury of worrying about how cold the weather is or how efficient the health care system is; they usually have their heart full of gratitude because a new country is giving them the opportunity to start a new life and in some cases the opportunity of having a life at all…
Immigrate to quantum leap your life: Having the burning desire to turn your life inside out with a big dream.
You belong to this category if, independently of how rich your native country is, how successful you are and how much you feel loved, you are tired of feeling capped, limited, out of place, unappreciated, stuck, to the point that sometimes even breathing seems very laborious. If you feel discomfort in your stomach while reading this, you are experiencing the right feelings that will contribute to drawing the best possible “you” out of the immigration experience. It means you have a big reason, a big dream [absolutely subjective] to pursue, a dream so big that you did not even have the courage to confess it to your mother.
If you belong to this category, you will never ask about the cost of bread, the tax rate, if you pay for medicine or how bad drivers are! You won’t care about all this…. You will ask about the industry you desire to work in, you will explore ways to work close to someone that is in that industry and you will be searching mainly for information that will boost your enthusiasm, and forget the rest.
To conclude, I passionately suggest that before you commit to a decision, before you decide which country is going to be the one, do everything you can to visit that place, because visiting will allow you to experience it through your own feelings, to get a taste of the place before you move there.
When I was deciding, fear and worries were carving my mind up. I wanted to go to North America where family members were, but I could not decide between Canada & the USA.
I would talk to my American and Canadian family members, getting pros and cons from both sides, and even though my mind kept opting for the US due to the generically superior number of opportunities and the sense of becoming part of one of the strongest economic superpowers, I opted for Canada. I followed my heart and I was lucky that I had the possibility to visit, and after being there, I realized that it just felt right! I was not getting the same feelings when visiting the state of Connecticut and the amazing New York City, a city that I love and now visit every year. There was no spark, I simply could not see myself there.
I am glad I used my feelings, my emotional mind and not my thinking, logical mind!
I wish you the best.
Frank Silletti https://www.empowerimmigrants.com